The process of rejection & bouncing back
Staying resilient in moving towards what your heart wants.
Let's unpack rejection, things not working out in your favor, and feeling let down.
Moving towards what your heart is a vulnerable and delicate space; when you care about something, rejections carry more weight and have the power to cause a U-turn from moving towards what you want.
In order to let go of rejection, you have to go first through a grieving process of feeling angry, frustrated, or sad that it didn’t work out before having peace and excitement for the next thing.
Sometimes - and I don’t know if this is from being an athlete - but my bounce back game is a little too fast; I pivot and move on really quickly, and then processing *that thing not working out* hits me later. Another thing that can happen is that I'll feel an accumulation and a gradual process of feeling worn down, let down, and tired of trying. At that point I ask myself, "What's the point of trying, anyway?"
In order to continue the pursuit of what sets your heart on fire and living a life that’s aligned for you, there will be moments where you have expectations and want something and it doesn’t work out the way you hoped for. And that’s OK. You won't see how it works out in your favor until later, but the process of grieving something that doesn’t work out and letting go is one to be respected. What if this let down is moving you towards something that is more aligned for you and better than you could have imagined?
Three ways to let go, bounce back, keep going
- Share with a special friend that you’re bummed it didn’t work out. I can't tell you how far this little act of release can go. Letting it out will build stamina and grace in the process. You don't have to keep it all to yourself; it's not stupid that you're bummed out; it's not silly that you have these feelings; what you are experiencing is real. Feelings of validation & connection go a long way. Release it!
- Write a list of reasons why you’re angry, frustrated, or sad it didn’t work out - own and be honest with those things! Get it out of your head and onto paper. At the end of the list, you can write, "I let (x) go." For example: I let go of wanting (x) to be who I want them to be; I let go of wishing this worked out and am open to what is ahead of me; I let go of feeling let down by (x).
- Write a letter (that you won’t send), addressing whomever or whatever it is that didn’t work out; make it as petty as possible, angry, and whatever emotions you have to let go of before moving on! Putting thoughts on paper makes the things that feel scary in your head feel lighter. Sometimes when an emotion feels petty, we don't give it the proper space to be what it is - and it makes it harder to move on.
Once you complete some form of giving into the let down - you can turn up the giddy excitement for the next thing. And as a gentle reminder, things that cut deep will require letting go multiple (many) times. Do not shy away and shame yourself for having to let go many times.
As always, I have a Spotify playlist for every emotional experience.
Sometimes I have to turn on sad music and go into hip-opener yoga poses in order to release sadness. I'll get signals that I need to let out certain feelings, but need a gentle and loving nudge from music & yoga poses to feel safe letting it out. Yoga poses are tied to releasing certain emotions (hip openers release grief; twists are detoxing; etc).
You don't have to be going through a break up to enjoy the magic energy of break up songs. I saw someone on TikTok comment about how there is no one more powerful than a woman going through her self-love-break-up-era. Realizing her own worth, doing the inner work, giving herself what she deserves, going to the gym, etc - that motivation and dedication in that era of her life is UNMATCHED FIRE. Through music, you get to take on the energy of an experience without even having to go through it yourself. That is one of many reasons I love music as a help for guiding me to both process and channel the energy I want to cultivate. Have fun with it!
Thanks for being here. Miles of smiles,